The Guidance Counselor

The Guidance Counselor 

It is now time to tackle one of life's greatest mysteries, Guidance Counselors, the one variable that the higher education system did not take into account when devising the admissions process. That fork in the road that everyone talks about in journeys of growth and self-discovery, but instead of a lifeless metaphor, it is a homely person with an affinity for small mammals and bad advice. When looking back we should have avoided this individual like the plague. But, our naive former selves were too nice and ultimately huge suckers for unwarranted compliments and free candy. As we sit in the broom closet converted to an office we wonder, "Shit, I am glad the local school board appropriation committee took this so seriously." Another thing you notice is that there is a mug sitting on their desk with a catchy motivational saying on it for example, "Look on the bright side." If this does not lift your spirits you have the equally vile sayings haphazardly plastered across the paste colored cinderblock walls. They always have a smile on their face. That is the weirdest  part of the whole ordeal. You literally could have said, "I just killed your small (insert dog/but most likely cat) and they would have shrugged it off like they stubbed their toe. As he or she begins to talk, cue the downfall of your future. They usually give you a survey, which ends with an outcome placing you in the lowest taxable bracket. You know its not going to happen, but your foreseeable confidence is shot. Then they give you pamphlets about schools in which you would never attend, because their personal fears of rejection are being projected onto your frail body. It proceeds with bits of useless information that add up to nothing. You eventually have the awkward so how is everything going/life conversation. Directly following this exchange, you grasp at the doorknob, as if you were Chuck Noland screaming for Wilson your lonely beach ball companion. It’s to late, your mind fucked, if only that sexual harassment course in period two warned me about mind rape.

Administration

The Administration.

When asking a college student about his or her favorite experiences you will get a plethora of answers and by plethora, I mean the various ways one can use the English language to dictate a busy social schedule. When asking a college student about his or her worst experiences within the academic environment a high percentage of them will answer with experiences directly dealing with the College Administration or indirectly with the College Administration, mostly likely connected to the afore mentioned favorite responses. Even if you were to remove the underage drinking tickets as well as noise complaints there still exists a large disconnect from the administration fuelled by distrust. Where is this coming from? I have compiled a list of the three things I believe contribute to a gap between student bodies and school administrations the most.

    Lack of Communication – Like any relationship communication is key and like any relationship when it doesn’t exist, everything falls apart. I have had personal experiences with a break down in communication with administrators and the system; it results in a complete lack of trust. We are here to grow and develop as individuals, yet our voices are never heard. If the administration actually listened than a lot more people wouldn’t have the title, “Fuck Said School,” in their Facebook status. Also, we pay your bills and unfortunately bankroll your addiction for pantsuits. The least you could do is take five minutes to listen to us.

   Technology – This one really pisses me off. Have you ever found yourself getting absolutely screwed by the technology at your school? I can’t be the only one. A cookie cutter example has to be the chronic crashes of the school website, which conveniently has to be connected to a given assignment due in the near future. Another being the fact that the school computer labs are filled with the same computers the jackass to the right was peddling in the 90’s. Just take a little of that money that goes to that one shitty sports team every school has and invest it in your technological infrastructure. It will help your student body from hating you. 

    Campus Police/ Department of Safety – This is where the analysis gets tricky. Personally, I have had bad and good experiences with officers, the latter being more prevalent. This being said one bad officer encounter will ruin the outlook of a student. Fortunately or unfortunately they are going to be the people within the administration that you are going to have the most interactions with that being said, don’t be a jackass. My experiences have always come to the conclusions that you know what you are ultimately getting into the first time you talk to an officer. Unfortunately, there are the hard asses who will do nothing but try and get you in trouble even though you are being very considerate, this section is for them. The officers who go out of their way to exacerbate situations lead to mistrust between students and the administration. They are the enforcers of the university, the face of social constraint and thus the enemy.

    In conclusion I know that there are many other things that contribute to this gap, but these specifically piss me off as a student. First, we pay to get ignored, then have to deal with the shitty services around campus and finally get hassled by the cops. Another day in the realm of higher education